I am beyond thrilled to welcome this awesome lady to my blog today. Tia Shurina is an author, an inspiration, a voice that needs to be heard. She’s a member of RRBC and I once had the pleasure of interviewing her on RAVE WAVES.
Today, Tia is embarking on an exciting journey, via blog tour, with 4WillsPublishing. And I’m fortunate to be a part of it!
So, as always, please enjoy today’s very special guest…
Thank you Marlena for hosting this first day of the Everything and a Happy Ending tour and generously giving up your personal space to help me share about & celebrate my own story. I’m grateful for so much kindness as I’ve stayed true to my intention to move from living a half happy life to an ALL-IN happiness, challenging as it has been sometimes to not re-turn in circle to my old ways of living…loving…& being…in the world. The esteemed Rave Reviews Book Club is part of that strong soulful circle now, & I want to start by saying thank you to Nonnie Jules for making a non-professional writer feel welcome as I have dared to move outside my very un-comfortable comfort zones. Each kind word, whether review, email, tweet or RT! has made a positive contribution as I stay committed to forward movement with my ordinary yet extraordinary story…& has helped me to keep the faith as I move as well.
Valentine’s Day is such a special day to honor love, in all its forms…& I’m thrilled to start the tour today by sharing an excerpt from my book. The day holds a bit of extra significance for me as you’ll read. It’s a part of Chapter 12, THE GREAT ESCAPE, subtitled, “the opposite of loneliness isn’t togetherness, it’s intimacy”. It’s from the 3rd section of a book about three important men who have surrounded me at different times in my life, the 3rd part of a powerful trio, a true trifecta of inter-connecting circles that took me on a round trip to intimacy…a journey of joy…& love… of a lifetime.
I send each of you my heartfelt gratitude for taking the time to read, as well as my warmest wishes for a day of LOVE today filled with “everything” that makes your hearts happy!
February 14th, 2011
While I waited, I had stuff I had to attend to as well. A life to live, that included the usual—kid stuff, boss stuff, “ex” stuff. The “e”x stuff I would be dealing with more at that point; he was about to move back in, so we could co-parent under one roof for a little while (or so I thought). Even though he was emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically my complete ex by that point, he was not my legal ex yet. I was a bit scared of what reconnecting might hold in store for us. We’d been moving along our journey to a new life since he’d moved out in October of 2009, but his dad’s death just over a year later slowed down the legal aspects. I knew it was a difficult time for him, and I wanted to allow him time to mourn his dad, remembering what those months after were like for me. It was a slow-down though, not a halting, I communicated kindly and honestly to him. He shared his fears about his future, and we talked about some solutions to ease those stresses. I agreed to allow him to turn my living room into his bedroom, since he needed a place now that his dad’s building was pushing him out. I knew it would be good for him, and our boys, to be close at that point. Financially, I didn’t have to make the gesture; my salary and his child support would have made my ends meet, but I knew Larry’s ability to meet that obligation would ripple out and affect his two boys in a not so positive way.
Physically and emotionally, it would be good for my boys and Larry to be close at such an important time, and I wanted to do that for him. It would also be good to heal some wounds between Larry and me. A lot of the time leading up to our split had been very stressful. We were both exhausted, and my boys had been witness to most of it. I thought would be good for my boys to witness our new friendship to balance it out.
I had a long internal discussion with myself and my dad at that point, to find my balance between being too kind and too dysfunctional—which was a line I had blurred often as I moved along my journey. I’d heard it often, “you’re too kind, Tia.” I felt a little anxious I might regress. The dynamics that become established in long-term relationships can be so very hard to shift, let alone break completely. I ultimately made my way to agree, my faith reassuring me it was all falling into place exactly as was meant to be, for all of us, each of us, and to trust, and go with the flow.
I had the strong feeling that, at a certain point, Emilio would take a hit from those who would try to take advantage of the perception that he was leaving his family, when the time was right and perfect for him to finally separate himself from the life that was unsatisfying to him. Some people would fan the flames of perceptions and assumptions, by focusing on the wife and kids with whom he had climbed to his fame and fortune. His wife had become sick along their way together, maybe even because of his climbing, who knows? The appearances could be fed, by those looking to feed them, that he was leaving one family for another, and it would not be good for anyone at all, nor would it be true. How I wished I could talk with him, to help him work through the fears, so that he could make the right and best choice for himself. I couldn’t, so I did what I could. I focused on my own choices. I realized I had an opportunity. I realized Emilio and I could make it clear, when it needed to be, that no one was leaving anyone for anybody. We would just be starting anew, together. He wouldn’t be leaving his kids any more than I would be leaving mine, by letting them stay in the home they would now share with Larry. Faith continued to guide me.
In my own grief after my dad’s death, when I’d sought one of my spiritual advisor’s insights to find my solace, V had helped me. She felt strongly my dad wanted me to keep the month of February in mind. It would be an important month for me as I moved along my new journey without him. Her words got filed away, buried under more real day-to-day life stuff. At times I’d allow myself to wonder, but I was reminded powerfully by the universe each time that this was meant to be a time in my life of letting go of the control. It was a time to hold open any potential that the universe might be trying to guide me to, rather than try to continue to steer my life. I let the worry and wonder fall away each time, as my life demanded.
On Valentine’s Day, I wound up in my lawyer’s office, signing off on our separation agreement. Rachel joked that it was a funny day to be doing that. I didn’t miss a beat, as I responded back I felt it was very appropriate, actually. I somehow knew there’d be an issue, but tried not to focus on it or give it any energy to feed on. Larry’s lawyer seemed intent on creating problems for us. It was not a hostile or contentious journey by that point—older kids, not a lot to fight over—yet every time Larry would talk with his lawyer, we would usually have an argument soon after. I’d been clear with my own lawyer, from the moment I sat down in her office, that I wanted the agreement to be as fair as it could be. I knew he was hurting in my truth that I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life with him as my partner, and I had no desire or intention to make it any more difficult for him. I wouldn’t make it about money, since that had nothing to do with it. It was important to me to surround myself with a fair and loving energy as I headed into the experience with Larry, with no vibes of trying to take advantage of him, in any way. I wanted to be fair and kind to him. I couldn’t have looked at myself in the mirror in peace if I had taken any other stance. His lawyer found issues to cause more time, energy, and, of course, more money on, and I started to feel taken advantage of. The newest issue put me in meltdown mode, and I broke down. My own lawyer had told me more than once that she’d never seen such an un-vengeful ex as me. I simply wanted my freedom from him, nothing more. I had no desire nor intention to manipulate to get that freedom.
I had allowed myself to remember my dad’s message about the significance of the month of February. I’d already made some startling revelations about prior Februaries, and felt sure we’d be legally separated that February. After Valentine’s Day passed, and the days grew closer to month’s end, I grew distraught. It didn’t look like it was going to happen. I was disappointed, but had to let go of it. It was out of my control. As I let go, Larry stepped up to the plate, and got it worked out just perfectly. Larry knew nothing about my hopes for a February finalization; I hadn’t shared that with him, but somewhere, somehow, he knew. On the last day of February, I signed off.
I had an amazing rollercoaster of emotions that special day—happy, sad, hopeful, scared, contemplative, grateful, excited, but, most of all, peaceful. After I signed, I enjoyed a glass of champagne at the Blue Water Grill to celebrate. As I sat on that bar stool, I wanted desperately to share my news with Emilio. It wouldn’t leave my mind, or my heart that day, so I slept on it. The next day, I followed my feelings and my heart, not my fears and my head, and reached. I shared my firm belief that, when I was younger, I’d never have allowed myself to take credit for anything good in my life. I was only able to somehow feel responsible for the bad. I was feeling so grateful that I allowed myself to take credit for changing my life, and I thanked him and my dad for playing such important roles in helping me to do it. Who knew, when our paths re-crossed, that he was about to help me change my life, again? I shared that, even though it had been the most difficult and challenging time in my life, it had also been the happiest. “Weird and crazy, yet real and true for sure” were my exact words to him.
Everything and a Happy Ending, an award winning memoir published by Mascot Books, details the soulful shift of a story as Tia shares her holy grail & trail she took to transform her life. After moving through her own metamorphosis she then helped an old friend, Ray Romano, move through his own transition, going with the flow very privately, but most profoundly.
“My journey almost destroyed me.” Almost. Boy, have I come to like that word. What a pleasurable word “almost” can be. You may almost be ready to buy my book. You may almost be ready to begin an exciting new journey of your own. You may almost be over that rainbow Judy Garland sings about. What great potential “almost” can hold if you can flip your way of thinking. Just imagine, controlled pessimism, doubt & fear flipped into blind optimism, faith & love.
That flip helped Tia move to a place where heaven meets earth…the pearly gates of her own happy ending. Changing the ending for her story brought a pure, precious peace of heart, but kicked her butt a bit as she made her way…committed to keeping her faith. The book was a plan C, maybe even D, but Tia was determined, after a dedicated intention & divine decision to start swimming more with the current of her life, instead of bucking that flow. Her ordinary, relatable story took an extraordinary, fantastical turn when she showed the Universe she was committed to her intention & her desire to be given an opportunity to make some new, different choices for herself. EAAHE is a memoir that shares the “how’d that happen?” & the “how’d she do that?” in a holy hope of helping others to see life in a new way.
EAAHE recounts 3 interconnected relationships & stories that enable Tia to love truly, deeply, & most of all, love herself. Three special circles she rounded with Ray, her dad, & her ex-husband. A woman’s full circle journey to learn how to really trust, how to “thine own self be true”, &then, the “real & true” love it led her ‘round back to. It shares how the power of love & a journey to intimacy helped her make a faithful flip which began a sacred circle and new chapter…one that would allow a different ending for a story she had begun writing for herself when she was much younger. One that Tia feels strongly will inspire other women of a certain age keep faith that it’s not too late to write a new ending for their own, as they embrace their history, not try to re-write it.
Tia is, most days, filled with joy. She is, every day, filled with peace. She looks forward to a happy ending each new day now, however it unfolds, whomever it holds, & whatever way the Universe molds, as she continues to create a new “happily ever after”, staying committed to rising above her fears, moving out of her comfort zones, & going with the flow of her life.
(^^Must Read Article^^)
~Get to know the Author online~
I greatly appreciate you stopping by today. Please help me in continuing to support this incredible author. You can also support her other blog tour hosts by visiting the 4WillsPublishing site. Also, do yourself a tremendous favor and pick up a copy of her book today.
One final note… Tia will be having giveaways all this week. Make sure you support her with comments and shares for your chance to win!!
Until next time, lovelies……… Happy Reading & Reviewing!!!